How to improve your self-esteem

Click to see Maslow’s pyramid of needs

How to improve your self-esteem

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is about how you feel about yourself and what you think about yourself. It is essential to have healthy Self-esteem.

Healthy self-esteem means that you have a realistic assessment of who you are.

Being proud of your achievement, and knowing who you are is essential. However, it is not arrogance or megalomania or a narcissistic feeling about one’s importance, etc.

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is rooted in a negative feeling about oneself, feeling that you are terrible, hopeless, a looser, etc. It is all about self-criticism, which is the destructive voice inside your head. Life will be that much simple if you love yourself. Too many people suffer from low self-esteem and are unhappy.

The criticism, whether negative criticisms or self-criticism, does not help.

1. Negative criticism – Do not get upset; say ‘thanks for sharing’; avoid a fight and move forward. Do not sink into depression or self-doubt. Hearing criticism can start with the parents, family, and society. Making a child feel unworthy from early childhood will lead them to become adult with love self-esteem. Negative stereotypes linked to race, gender or social stigmatization can create low self-esteem. Negative criticism can be destructive and have a long-lasting impact.

2. Self-criticism does not help the situation but rather reinforce the feeling of helplessness.

Sometime, a child may end believing in all these negativities and develop low self-esteem. It becomes self-criticism. It is primordial not to dwell on self-criticism; you have made a mistake, recognize it, put remedial actions in place and then move forward.

3. constructive criticism

Constructive criticism, whether from self or others, should be welcomed. Imagine someone who drinks and drives, and it is vital to let him or her know that he or she can cause death, accident, and drive only when sober. In this case, it is a lifesaving criticism to say it is wrong to drink and drive. It is alright to criticize one-self if it happens. It is vital to recognize one is failing and put in remedial actions.

 How to improve one’s self-esteem.

It is essential when you have not done anything wrong or harmful to build your self-esteem and develop a robust system to boost your self-esteem and confidence. Self-confidence is a great help in achieving success. It is primordial to believe in yourself and your talent.

How to build good self-esteem.?

  1. Self-praise – Be your best friend, and always have something positive about yourself in mind. Recognize your value. Recognize that you are not average but great, talented, competent, virtuous, energetic, and whatever beautiful qualities you embody. Be your greatest supporter and cheerleader.
  2. Positive inner Self-dialogue – People with low self-esteem will have a ‘little voice’ in the back of their head, constantly telling them they are not good enough, and they are going to fail. Often there is a harmful habit of self-criticism build for many years, and it is high time to change the inner dialogue. You can change your thoughts with consistency and think that you are brilliant, talented, fabulous, and soon you will become what you think. Therefore, the power of thinking cannot be underestimated but must be used to elevate oneself. Descartes said, Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore, I am. Our existence is defined by the quality of our thoughts and intentions.  When we repeat the same ideas in our minds, we take the same actions too. This creates a habit pattern that plays a dominant role in our life. A positive inner dialogue brings a quality of life that leads to high self-esteem and greater happiness.

When suffering from low self-esteem, positive self-talk can counter these negative thoughts with positive ones, reaffirming your worth, focusing on your excellent point, and remembering your accomplishments.

  • Self-love. Love is the most incredible power which exists in this world. Love thy neighbour as yourself shows clearly that the first commandment is about self-love as a precondition, even before loving our neighbour.
  • Self-knowledge. Delphi’s temple clarifies that one of the sources of happiness, contentment, and accomplishment is the knowledge of oneself. With the words “know thy self,” the oracle of Delphi shared a gem from her store of priceless wisdom. A good understanding of oneself is essential in all businesses—spiritual or secular. The knowledge of self involves having a good awareness and knowledge of the body, mind, and spirit. In the professional domain, it means accurately knowing your aptitudes, competencies, strengths, and weaknesses.  It is necessary to have a realistic vision of ourselves. Too big a gap between reality and perception creates disappointments.
  • Self-respect. The dictionary defines respect as a feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard, esteem. Self-respect means that you show regards to your thoughts, take into consideration your emotions and feeling.
  • Self-care. Many people live with low self-esteem. Too many other people are simply indifferent toward themselves. Take care of your appearance.  Dress well, speak well, play well your part in the social. Eat well: Nutrition can make a massive difference to the way you feel about yourself and improve your complete well-being. Take vitamins, increase your energy levels, but also Exercise. It is suitable for the body, mind, and soul. Exercise and lead a healthy lifestyle. Sleep at least 8 hours a night. Your self-esteem will improve by exercising, simply because you will improve your physique, making you more attractive and capable. Ensure you have a healthy relationship with work and money to enable you to save and live well.
  • Self-actualization. In Maslow’s pyramid, once the basic needs are satisfied, the physiological one must fulfil love and self-esteem before reaching self-actualization. To be self-actualized means realizing our highest potentials. It is the tangible achievements of our personal goals, gaining knowledge, and living a mindful and meaningful life. It is about inner and outer beauty and balance. The time of self-actualization is about personal growth and fulfilment. When we are self-actualized, we are accomplished and fulfilled. We have realized our highest potentials. Humans seem their happiest when they have fulfilled their needs and have achieved self-actualization.
  • Practice meditation and Mindfulness. Have a spiritual practice that helps you cope with daily life stress. Repeat daily that you are resilient and capable of dealing with anything life may throw at you. Meditate and realize your true self. Take time for self-introspection and contemplation on the nature of the self. It could ultimately lead to self-realisation and self-actualisation, the highest level of attainment.
  • Practice self-compassion, be kind to yourself. Kindness is underrated. Practice Metta Loving Kindness, Meditation and Gratitude, daily.
  • Embrace sustainable life changes. Spend time in nature to benefit from the Healing Power of Nature. Embrace country walks, time in the garden or the park.

In conclusion, it is essential to cultivate self-respect, self-care, self-love, self-knowledge, and a habit of frequent self-praise to develop healthy self-esteem. This will deliver us from low morale, depression, and feelings of unworthiness. Too many people are depressed because of constant self-criticism—that destructive little voice in their head that feeds them a copious amount of negativity all day. Self-love, self-respect, self-nurturing, and self-praise are great happiness boosters.

It is also essential to maintain a clean inner space, avoid unnecessary mental discussion, and cultivate inner peace. The more you work on yourself, the sooner you will achieve a healthy sense of self, leading to self-actualization and fulfilment.

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